Riding the Wave of Uncertainty: tools and techniques for times of change

Part 4: Your Inner Compass

In Part 4 of this series, I would like to help you contact and harness your instinct and intuition as indispensable allies and guides. 

In Parts 1-3 I shared some simple and powerful tools to help you create clarity in your daily life, master your mindset during times of upheaval, and align your everyday activity with what’s most important now using the Red Thread.

A significant part of my coaching work is helping clients make decisions and deal with challenging and opportune situations. The coach’s skill lies in helping clients arrive at their own decision (rather than making it for them); through identifying what’s most important to them and navigating the conflicting messages that the mind, and other people, will inevitably throw up.

Supporting clients to cut through the noise by working directly with intuition and instinct is simply life-changing! A bold statement, but one that always holds true. I regularly witness this in the area of relationships. 

Take Charlie; unhappy in her relationship and increasingly aware that she feels low after being with her partner, and insecure when they are apart. Cue: what’s most important? In this context  Charlie identifies the most important values to her in a relationship; honesty, communication, and humour. We then drop the relationship through the values: ‘To what extent does your partner demonstrate these values?’ The penny drops: Charlie recognises that she’s in a relationship with someone who doesn’t share the values that matter most to her. What I know through psychology and my own experience is that once the heightened sensation of a new relationship settles, it’s shared values that maintain the bond.  

What’s interesting is that Charlie had been receiving ‘warning’ signs that things were not right for some time. She had dismissed these feelings because she thought she was being ‘silly’ and had nothing to worry about. This only exasperated the feelings that were trying to get her attention. The root of these feelings was her instinct. 

Your instinct comes from a physical manifestation of your limbic system (aka: the amygdala - the chimp). Your instinct is a reaction to a perceived opportunity or threat - a feeling that something is very right or not quite right. 

In dealing with a threat, the response can be so powerful that you don't even have time to think before you have frozen, fought or legged it! However in less extreme situations these feelings tend to appear in the 'gut', 'chest' or 'throat' area. Rather than ignoring these, I invite you to acknowledge them and take them as a sign to explore 'what's going on?' Take a breath and hit the pause button to help you check-in and assess the situation.

Intuition, on the other hand, is your inner guidance. The gentle and less pushy voice in your mind, the one that’s so often hard to hear amongst all the internal or external noise. Taking a moment to yourself - a quick medi or a brisk walk - can help you to TUNE IN.  

Asking a powerful question such as; 'What is the best thing to do right now?' and then allowing yourself to LISTEN IN to what comes up can really help (and acting on this even if you don't like the answer is your POWER!). In Charlie’s case, intuition guided her to make the decision to end the relationship and make space for someone more in line with her values.

Let intuition guide you now

For some of you, time in lockdown has surfaced questions about what’s working and what’s not working so well, and what you want more or less of in your life.  Being in touch and listening to your instinct and intuition, which can work independently or together, will show you what’s best. 

Remember: a strong feeling from your instinct is a signal to PAUSE and ask yourself; ‘Is this right for me?’ Whereas intuition is your GUIDANCE; helping you know how to deal with a situation. Trust yourself that you know the truth in every situation based on how it ‘feels’.  Your courage is in choosing to act on it. 

To explore these themes further: contact tamson@amaralife.com to find out more about Insight Coaching and how it can help you create the results you want in life.